 I recently watched a TedTalk by Lucy Hone, a resilience researcher. She shared the three strategies she thinks are needed to be resilient. “..to brave adversity, overcome struggle and face whatever may come head-on with fortitude and grace.”
To summarize:
How these three traits show up in my life: 1. We are not being picked on when bad things happen to us. At first, I definitely felt like I was getting picked on when I was constantly hearing, “Oh he can't do that because he has a TBI..” It is not that I was being picked on, the reality is I have neurological damage to the brain. This is not my fault, but it is also not my neighbor’s fault. It is no one's fault. Like the saying, “you just got a bad hand.” It doesn’t help you to have the “poor me” attitude. It is actually really unhealthy to go through life this way because then, we go through life with no resolve or enhancements. Dwelling on my TBI will not help me in the long run. 2. Looking for the “good” in a situation. In my situation, I am not in the ideal location, but I have learned to accept through God’s teachings. I have never thought about my resilience as a resolve to my problem. My resilience is my ability to not give up. I am always going further and doing more than the next person. By practicing what I preach, what I write about, I am able to redirect myself to the good aspects in my life. 3. I ask myself, “Is what I'm doing helping me or harming me?” For example, when I am cooking and I need a knife, I have to wait and get someone to help me. If I get angry it does not help me. It just goes back to the saying to be patient. In life there are always things you have to wait for. My situation might be different than other people but we can all relate to feeling frustrated when we have to wait for something that we want. Summary about the power of these three things as traits to being resilient.
Face the reality of your life, seek optimism, and listen to yourself.
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 Flourishing to me means doing more than what is expected. You don’t flourish by just sitting on the couch. You can't just sit back in life and wait for things to happen. You have to climb the mountain. When you do this you can reach the peak. When you are at this point it is downhill from there. You flourish by pushing yourself to a certain level until you are able to coast downhill. I do not mean downhill in a bad way. I am saying that this is when things become easier. It’s like working hard to reap the benefits.
Courtney E. Ackerman, MA, explains this as, “Flourishing moves beyond the confines of simple happiness or wellbeing; it encompasses a wide range of positive psychological constructs and offers a more holistic perspective on what it means to feel well and happy.” I agree with this idea, that is why I am writing about it. Dr. Martin Seligman, the “father of positive psychology” explains that flourishing is the result of paying careful attention to building and maintaining the five aspects in life. He calls this the PERMA model. The PERMA model:
How the PERMA Model shows up in my day to day life: Positive emotions- Finding what truly brings you happiness, it may be going for a drive, playing with a dog or animals, or just listening to music. Engagement- I spend the majority of my days cooking, working out and writing. When you are younger this usually comes from parents or friends. Once you are older you start to pick the things that are the most important or what you like to do in your down time. Relationships- My family, friends, writing team, those that read my work are important to me. I make the effort to stay connected with these relationships even if I do not see them in person every day. And my relationship with God. Meaning- Being stuck in a facility is hard but having my family makes it worth it. That way I have a goal to be with my family. Having a goal to work towards gives me meaning. I find meaning through taking care of my body by exercising and eating well. I also find meaning through my writing which helps me think deeper. God is also a big part of this as he gives me strength. Accomplishments- Overcoming the diagnosis I would not walk, and now running is a core accomplishment. I am always challenging the status quo. I am proud of my performance as a writer and keeping up my blog. Questions you can ask yourself when looking to flourish:
You can read more here: Flourishing: https://positivepsychology.com/flourishing/#google_vignette The PERMA Model: https://positivepsychology.com/perma-model/ |
Come back soon for new blogs weekly!I will be writing about my TBI recovery tools, favorite healthy recipes, workout ideas and encouragement, and ways I stay engaged. Archives
February 2025
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