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I created a list of all the things that make me “smile”:
Before you keep doom scrolling or move on with your day; I encourage you to make your short list of what makes you smile. 
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 “Yes”, I have always found it to be; me, myself and I. However, I’ve come to see that standing alone keeps me from reaching all the milestones I want to accomplish. I realized it takes a village to build community. After my TBI I was a little depressed. How was I going to make it all happen?? Plus I had all this energy that I didn't know what to do with it. And I was told over and over again I couldn't do anything.
Fast forward several years and I have a village. It didn't happen overnight but now I feel more fulfilled. My team consists of Meredith, Stephen, Lisa, Jen, Barry, and Alicia. By working with each of them my thinking expands as they have different perspectives and specialities. I have a lot of different interests and they are professionals that can make my ideas come to life. Having a team makes everything I want to accomplish more developed so I can reach all the milestones I have planned, and then some. Even my leisure activities are more fun with someone. For example, when you are running a race alone it is not as enjoyable. When you have someone with you it goes smoother and you go farther. The same can be said about my writing. I can write by myself, but when I work with my team it goes further. I can lean on them for other perspectives and it expands my thinking, making my writing more developed. It is easy to forget the people that have gotten you to where you are. Having fulfillment in what you do is great, but remember how you got there. Like I said in the beginning, it takes a village. Make sure you thank your village today. It is the fire that burns away your pride, it is the capacity to endure delay; delay or difficult circumstance. It’s not a “no” it’s just “not now.” It is like a muscle; your patience needs to be stretched to strengthen. Like a muscle, it needs to be developed. You start to understand this on a fitness journey. He gives us trials not to hurt or harm us but to strengthen us through adversity. Unswerving steadfastness that refuses to give up when facing hardships, sickness, or delays. It is showcased in passages like James 1:3-4, which notes that the testing of faith produces this brand of active endurance.  "...knowing that the proving of your faith worketh patience. And let patience have its perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, lacking in nothing." -The Bible, ASV It is our belief and faith that can move that mountain. Whether it is relational, financial, or spiritual. Remember, it’s not human brute strength, but divine power from the Holy Spirit.  When you lose, carry yourself as if you have won. A setback is not the end of your life. You need to keep moving forward. The better question isn’t, “How can I be happy?” but “How can we be happy?” True fulfillment is shared.
We enter this world without clear expectations or a defined purpose. Sometimes, we need to pause and surrender instead of overthinking every detail. We don’t need all the answers to the universe to live a meaningful life. Choose not to react impulsively. The person who constantly reacts is not in control. Strive to become impossible to offend. When someone does upset you, see it as a signal. It is like an internal flag pointing to an area for growth. That awareness prepares you to respond more thoughtfully in the future. Some people just want to react and fuel themselves. To see how you react to something. Don’t let those people get a rise out of you. We spend much of our lives preparing not to lose or to avoid being last, yet loss is inevitable. Instead, prepare for challenges so their impact is softened. Every experience, whether good or bad, offers an opportunity to learn, grow, and become stronger. “Carry yourself as if you have won” isn’t about pretending. It’s about dignity. Loss hits differently when it doesn’t shake your identity. Shifting from “How can I be happy?” to “How can we be happy?” reframes fulfillment from something you chase alone into something you build with others. That’s harder but more stable. Becoming hard to offend is one of those deceptively difficult goals. It requires separating your sense of self from other people’s behavior, which most people never fully do. Seeing triggers as signals for growth is practical, not just philosophical. It turns frustration into data. When you have that frustration, learn from it. Grow. Don’t get stuck in the bad. Some people think that a selfish life is a promising way to live. They hold on to everything they have, ignore the needs of others, and make life all about themselves. All they think about is what they can do, what they can achieve, and all the stuff they have accumulated. They think they deserve all that they have and that they are entitled to keep it. The problem with living that way is the attitude of entitlement. What if we don’t get exactly what we deserve? What if all that we have is a gift from God? What if God has showered us with His blessings – even though we do not deserve them? What if we are actually ENTITLED to nothing? In truth, we deserve to be separated from God – but God showers us with grace. It’s all a gift. Even the air in our lungs is a gift. If everything is a gift from God, we have no reason to be selfish. We can choose to be generous, freely sharing what God has given us. We are free to love others, expecting nothing in return. We can live selflessly, thinking of other people. We can use our God-given strength for good purposes. We can treat others as we want to be treated. Being kind and generous and loving is not weakness. It’s a flex – in truth, it’s an expression of great strength. There are many ways to be selfless and generous. Sometimes that might involve money, but not necessarily. What is called for is a generosity of spirit, a life of kindness, and an attitude of humility. I could choose to live selfishly, hurt other people, and cause damage to others – but I choose not to . . . because of God’s grace in my life. My capabilities are shaped by His activity. He changes me into the person He wants me to be – and I choose to embrace what God is doing in me. God has given me the power and strength to overcome my struggles and problems. In fact, God makes me unstoppable. But it is my responsibility not to misuse that power. It is my responsibility to use His power in loving ways. That is why I try to live a life that reflects God’s grace.  Give, and it will be given to you.
A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. -Luke 6:38  It doesn’t cost anything to smile. Smiling is a free, and a contagious act. Spread it like peanut butter to make that sloppy sandwich. I love my peanut butter thick and all over the place. Treat a smile like peanut butter, the more the merrier.
A smile is an act that boosts the mood, fosters connections, and reduces stress. In an article titled; Turn That Frown Upside Down: The Mood-Boosting Benefits of Smiling, they took the words right out of my mouth, “To start, the mere act of smiling has been found to stimulate the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a significant role in feelings of pleasure and reward.” We all get mad, sad, and grumpy- we don’t need to live there. I’m not saying those feelings aren't valid but they don’t have to consume you. It is natural to let those feelings move through you. Sometimes having a laugh or smile is what can actually get you through those harder feelings. A smile can change the trajectory of your day, and the other person’s. Just like that peanut butter, it might get all over your face, but it also might get on someone else. It’s the good kind of contagious. So when you are feeling (sad/mad/grumpy: insert whatever feeling you are having) try to look at something that might bring a smile to your face. The best part of all is that it costs nothing. To be genuinely happy is great for you, and me. |
Come back soon for new blogs weekly!I will be writing about my TBI recovery tools, favorite healthy recipes, workout ideas and encouragement, and ways I stay engaged. Archives
June 2026
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